Let’s see. Sunglasses indoors. I’m thinking he’s either a druggie trying to hide his eyes to avoid detection or those glasses are an expensive fashion accessory and he’s showing off. NOTE: These are not mutually exclusive. The drink, presumably an alcohol-based concoction such as a “martini” with ambiguous fruit which could be an olive, certainly doesn’t clear up either of those possibilities. At best we see he’s wearing cold temperature clothing, long sleeves and pants, and yet his foot is exposed, bare with no sock.

What can we deduce from that? Maybe it’s a prosthetic leg? If so, that could mean a couple of things. But foremost, we have to consider the possibility that his prosthetic leg is the result of an injury that also left him infertile?

I had an uncle that lost a leg and one testicle in a fall off the top of a building. Doctors told him he would never have kids, but 10 years later that was proved to be a lie. My cousin Ricky was a miracle baby, even if he did look like my uncle’s girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. I mean, blonde hair and blue eyes doesn’t run in our family, and I know it doesn’t run in Shelly’s family either, so where did that come from? On the other hand, everybody in Ray’s family, even the mixed kids, have blonde hair and blue eyes. So do the math and get back to me on that one.

I gotta say, I’ve been hearing all about this “Nobody is having kids” thing but god damn if my street is not swarming with strollers.

What gets me is all the folks up in Austin, TX pulling the copper wiring out of the walls of every school district inside a city center. Then you’ve got the Feds in Congress threatening to pull the plug on Medicaid, which covers half of all childbirths in the state. And on top of that, we’re staring down the barrel of a Measles epidemic.

Gen Alpha’s getting dealt the worst hand since kids born during the Great Depression.

10 years later: “Mommy, why is uncle Ricky spiking our bird feeder?”

Joke’s on my parents, neither me nor my brother have any kids.