• Echo Dot@feddit.ukEnglish
    2·
    8 hours ago

    Most of the time people post these questions, the answer is always really boring.

    No of course I don’t want to get turned into a baby, it isn’t useful to me to be a baby, my current life would not be easier just because I was physically younger if I was like 95 then I guess it would be useful but I’m not so it isn’t.

    At least I’ve not been asked if I would travel back in time, because that one comes up every 15 minutes and the answer is always the same, buy bitcoin, again boring answer.

    • ThunderComplex@lemmy.todayEnglish
      1·
      32 minutes ago

      You and everyone else who answered “buy Bitcoin” get travelled back in time to the same point in time simultaneously, it’s now a Bitcoin battle royale.

    • DrSteveBrule@mander.xyzEnglish
      1·
      7 hours ago

      I can’t remember what the documentary is called, but there was a recent series about a scam with the old McDonald’s Monopoly game. Some guy who worked the game knew the winning numbers and would get them to various friends and distant family members and take a cut of the prize for himself. It turns out that the chance that very distant relatives would both win were incredibly low odds and that sent a lot of red flags to the FBI which led to him being caught.

      Anyway, my point is that you really could likely get away with winning one, possibly two of those lotteries before feds come asking you questions lol

  • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.todayEnglish
    72·
    1 day ago

    Oh man…sadly, I would never have meet most of my friends, which would instantly suck. But I know it is predictable, but I would take advantage of bitcoin mining. I would annoy the fuck out of my parents to get to it. I would seek to get my hands on the internet as soon as possible!

    And of course, if I make money on time, buy Pokemon Platinum with bitcoin.

    I would use all the money to create passive income, and spend most of my time studying, exercising, taking care of my health, just to go to an university to get a career in AI engineering, knowing how important it would become. But I would try a different path to today’s advanced AI, attempting to beat the big companies to it…

  • kevinsky@feddit.nlEnglish
    5·
    1 day ago

    If I have to get turned back into a baby in place then no thank you, quite happy with life as it is. If we are going back in time there’s ofcourse ample time for things like doing the right investments and retiring from work before even leaving school.

    And I can find my wife way earlier in life.

  • Glytch@lemmy.worldEnglish
    25·
    1 day ago

    Depends on if it’s de-aging or time travel.

    If I’m just de-aged and left in the present I would try and become a real life Baby Herman from Roger Rabbit and go into comedy.

    If it’s time travel I’d try not to make the same mistakes but then end up making all different ones and ruining my life in new and interesting ways.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyzEnglish
      10·
      1 day ago

      Yeah if I’m a baby in 2026 with my 2026 skills and knowledge, it’s not particularly useful because I don’t want to start literally working as a newborn and in 20 years my skillset might not be as relevant anymore. Not to mention the whole “oh buy a bunch of Bitcoin” thing ain’t gonna work if it’s already at (whatever it is now).

  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    1 day ago

    Same. Mom was a religious but job and dad ain’t far behind. Nothing could incentivize me to relive that. That’s just double trauma.

  • applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    11·
    2 days ago

    well if we’re talking newborn I would freak out the butcher who circumcized me by telling him in perfect english I don’t consent to this. I don’t know if I could realistically get out of it but I would try.

    I would now be a baby with the full knowledge of a graduate engineering degree and several years of industry experience, and the knowledge that I’m a trans woman, bi, and neurodivergent.

    School would be a tragically boring breeze, and I would probably try to get into some accelerated “child prodigy” academic program so I could get through it quicker. One of the ones where you start college when other people are starting high school. By this point I would have started male puberty, so priority number one would be to go to the campus doctor and start my hormonal transition. It would frankly be amazing to go through only female puberty, and at roughly the right age even. I could expect to end up much more feminine since the skeletal changes are still possible at that age and I wouldn’t have had the full effect of male puberty on my face.

    I would take my time at college, still study engineering but make it easy on myself, enjoy being a college girl for a while, have my slut phase while I’m still young. Idk how far I would go with it but I would probably study something new, probably get at least a masters again. A PhD would still be way too much work for me.

    After graduating it would just be normal life again, but with the body I’ve always wanted and a little head start in life, as opposed to being really behind like I am now. Maybe I’d even be treated better by my parents, being born with more emotional maturity than they’ve ever had, and with a mind even older than they were when I was born. I still wouldn’t trust or like them. They’d still be bigots and religious weirdos. But maybe having a seemingly prodigal child who outperforms their wildest dreams might make them at least be nicer to me.

    • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zipEnglish
      2·
      1 day ago

      School would be a tragically boring breeze

      Damn, math and science came easy to you? I could barely get through geometry and physics at the time, let alone decades down the road. I’d have to relearn all that shit just to barely pass those classes again.

      • applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        3·
        1 day ago

        I mean I wouldn’t say it was easy, but I use math and physics heavily at work so I haven’t gotten rusty and I understand their value. If I had to go through math courses again it would more be tedious review and busy work than a challenge learning something for the first time. If someone thought it was the first time that might look like crazy raw talent. Learning to write cursive again would be much harder than math lol.

        • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.todayEnglish
          1·
          1 day ago

          You would have the neuroplasticity of a child, with the knowledge of an adult. You would experience things MUCH differently, which you may not remember, but I do…you would also learn very fast, and the skillsets you already have would only boost that a lot.

          You would actually be borderline superhuman.

    • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      13·
      2 days ago

      Aside from doing it all over, can you imagine the horror of having all the skills, memory and mind of a fully mature person trapped in the body of a baby?

      • DigitEnglish
        4·
        1 day ago

        having all the skills, memory and mind of a fully mature person trapped in the body of a baby

        Trapped?

        I’d not be able to contain myself, and would speak, and ambulate, immediately… wowing people to such a spectacle… a talking dancing baby, who can espouse advanced philosophical notions, challenge people to reflect on their epistemology, and even warn of crooked ploys put upon the world. … Oh dear… I did not want to become a religious icon.

        I’m presuming the baby continues to grow up normally, and is not an eternal baby-body prison… and that “all the skills” includes psyche-motor skills. … And best of both worlds, able to learn like a baby too, vividly retaining near everything, contrast to old-man brain (where decades of toxin accumulation and stress have impaired neurogenesis and learning capacity).

        • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          3·
          1 day ago

          I’d not be able to contain myself, and would speak, and ambulate, immediately

          You might know how to speak with an adult’s vocal chords, or to walk with an adult’s body. I doubt you’d be able to do either with a tiny baby’s body.

          • DigitEnglish
            1·
            8 hours ago

            A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memory.

            • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
              1·
              50 minutes ago

              Yes, and as an adult I have no idea how to walk around as a baby, speak with a baby’s vocal chords, etc. The only body I’m used to using is my current adult body.

      • mtpender@piefed.socialEnglish
        11·
        2 days ago

        Can you imagine knowing that when you hit 35 you have a brain injury due to an A.V. malformation, almost die, wake up in hospital, become permanently disabled and have to learn to walk again?

        …Yeah…

          • mtpender@piefed.socialEnglish
            3·
            1 day ago

            From Google:

            “A brain arteriovenous malformation (AVM) is a rare, abnormal tangle of blood vessels connecting arteries and veins, bypassing normal brain tissue. It typically forms before birth and can cause seizures, headaches, or neurological issues, though many are asymptomatic until they rupture, causing a dangerous brain hemorrhage.”

  • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.worldEnglish
    451·
    2 days ago

    I’m suddenly a 40-year old woman in the body of a baby boy. Overnight: the following things are true:

    • I’m in Japan. My English is borderline-perfect, once my face and throat can express it. It’s okay, I was born to white parents who are English speakers, but they didn’t raise me with English. We’ll see where this goes in my new life.
    • My wife, who I’ve fallen asleep to every night, is now 3-year old kid in Illinois. I will miss her deeply and I cannot even grieve without arousing suspicion. Her existence at this point in her life is miserable. I know what she’s suffering through and which address she’s suffering at. Even if I went to go see her, she wouldn’t know who I am. I don’t look like me. She also hasn’t met me yet.
    • I know full well that I’m trans and I know that my mother and father are hostile to such notions, and I know there’s nothing I can even do at that point in time.
    • Everything I have read, watched, and played doesn’t exist yet. There’s embedded cultural touchstones that I reference that don’t exist yet. I’m also a baby.
    • Most of my favorite music doesn’t exist yet. I will hum songs by Hitorie, The Beths, South Arcade, Battle Tapes, and Emi Nakamura under my breath decades before they’re written. This is a problem.
    • The technology I use to make my art doesn’t exist yet. Digital cameras at the turn of the millennium were ass.
    • I’m still 40. I can’t pursue my hobbies and works. I can’t take pictures (yet). DSLRs don’t exist.
    • One of my two strokes gets undone. My body moves somewhat easier. However, I still think and interact with the world like I’ve had two.
    • The house I’m living in now hasn’t been built yet then.

    In summary, endless culture shock. I would panic forever. My life would immediately be one of those television shows where suspicion keeps mounting against the main character and there’s jack shit anyone can do to stop it.

    I suppose I could tell her that in sixteen years, 9/11 is happening and what transpires, down to Kevin Cosgrove’s phone call. She’d panic and try to contact the feds, and I’d just say that Bush already knows. It’s in the commission report that doesn’t exist yet.

    That might actually radicalize them…

      • StillAlive@piefed.worldEnglish
        1·
        15 hours ago

        That’s even worse.

        I have to relive all my life so far on a planet with worsening climate change? I’d kill myself as soon as possible.

      • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        23 hours ago

        Oh, well then, I’d still be grieving my wife, who doesn’t know where I’m at, and my parents in their seventies will be freaked.

        • Jarix@lemmy.worldEnglish
          3·
          21 hours ago

          Well it says all skills and memories so just explain it to them and hope for the best!.

          Uh hello wifey I’m a talking infant. I guarantee this is weirder for me than it is for you.

          Okay you need to understand I just got isekai’d but not in the fun way… you are going to have to teach my parents what isekai is. Then we tell them together.

          Edit is italics “for clarity of intent”