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ElCanut@jlai.lu to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml · 10 months ago

Little bobby Fortran

jlai.lu

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Little bobby Fortran

jlai.lu

ElCanut@jlai.lu to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml · 10 months ago
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  • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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    10 months ago

    But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he’s literally Fortran.

    • kungen@feddit.nu
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      10 months ago

      “I was born for this!”

      • asbestos@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I was born INTO THIS

        • SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          The heart is blackened.

      • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Nominative determinism.

    • cannedtuna@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.

      • Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        fucking golf clap

    • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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      10 months ago

      Reminds me of that firefighter named Les Mcburney.

      • frezik@midwest.social
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        10 months ago

        I’ve actually met him. Pretty chill guy, but is completely confused by his Internet fame.

      • felbane@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        And his sister, the famous arsonist Anita Mcburney.

    • booly@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      Your dentist’s name is Crentist?

      • NoisyFlake@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        Maybe that’s why he became a dentist.

    • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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      10 months ago

      “It’s a Fortran system; I know this!”

  • Dasnap@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    My parents called me Basic.

    • EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      You’re the APL of their eyes

      • lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de
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        10 months ago

        Ooh that’s a good one

  • konalt@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript

    • tourist@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck

      • brlemworld@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I understand these references.

    • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary

    • shameless@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!

      • perishthethought@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        Training a future AI, I see. Good job.

    • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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      10 months ago

      His name was my name too

    • demonsword@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      And he invented JavaScript in a cave, with a box of scraps

      • konalt@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        In 10 days and 10 nights

  • Daxtron2@startrek.website
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    10 months ago

    Little Fortran walks into the living room.

    “Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I’m scared you’ll be mad at me”

    “We’ll still love you no matter what honey.”

    “OK, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I’m a frontend developer”

    “WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don’t come out until you’ve written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff”

    • Artyom@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn’t fortran.

  • Outsider9042@aussie.zone
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    10 months ago

    My son is also named Fortran.

    We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.

    • DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      “We’re out of BORT license plates!”

    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      When I named my children I made sure to choose names that can always be found in kitschy gift shop items.

  • BmeBenji@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    I named my daughter Rubyonrails

    We call her “On” for short

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      10 months ago

      Little Ruby Rhonda

    • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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      10 months ago

      My first cat was called Rails, but he scaped home to never be see again. The second Ruby, but she died the next day we adopted her. The third one, Rails 2, but we call him Rails because is shorter, he’s 10 yo now.

  • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org
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    10 months ago

    Cody C. Sharpe

  • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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    10 months ago

    I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20’s, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

    Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      So are you saying Fortran Programming is a lucrative skill?

      • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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        10 months ago

        Looking up, in the US its have an average salary of 100k at year. Not sure how that compares with other programming languages. He worked for an oil company, so I guess he had an above average salary for that.

  • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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    10 months ago

    You know what, if I have a boy one day, I’ll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won’t develop a lisp

    • Telorand@reddthat.com
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      10 months ago

      Or a stupid wager.

  • macniel@feddit.org
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    10 months ago

    At least it’s not COBOL.

    • Papamousse@beehaw.org
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      10 months ago

      I learnt COBOL (I’m old) it’s a very easy language, you basically talk, for instance to do c=a*b you write:

      MULTIPLY A TO B GIVING C

      and everything is tabbed, but in a good editor like emacs, it’s done automatically pretty well.

      • BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
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        I was looking into learning COBOL some years ago, because i found that verbosity interesting.

        And it seemed like there’s not many libs and toolboxes out there, compared to the major languages that has libs for everything, so I couldn’t really use it for small projects.

        • connaisseur@feddit.org
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          10 months ago

          The issue with COBOL surely isn‘t about the language itself. The real challenge will be to decipher the spaghetti code that was created at a company in the last sixty or so years. And then to dare changing something without breaking the program as a whole.

          • BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
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            That’s easy you just use the huge number of test cases to ensure against introducing new bugs.

            /S

      • katy ✨@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 months ago
        10 print "Hell here"
        20 goto 10
        
      • Doc Avid Mornington@midwest.social
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        10 months ago

        That’s how you talk?

        • Papamousse@beehaw.org
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          10 months ago

          you shout in COBOL ;-)

          • vfreire85@lemmy.ml
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            10 months ago

            shout shout let it all out

            • Zink@programming.dev
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              10 months ago

              These are the things I can do without: =±*/

    • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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      10 months ago

      Imagine a cabal of COBOL programmers called Cobol or Co Ball

      • Midnitte@beehaw.org
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        10 months ago

        Fuck it co., we ball.

  • xantoxis@lemmy.world
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    This kid’s full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they’re about to experience.

  • neclimdul@lemmy.world
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    I mean, Fortran isn’t even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it’s still a used language.

    https://wg5-fortran.org/f2023.html

    • Scribbd@feddit.nl
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      And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.

      Source: Work for a weather institute.

      • Python@programming.dev
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        We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It’s really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.

      • neclimdul@lemmy.world
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        And a lot of science libraries.

        Source: married to a physicist.

    • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      All the best linalg libraries are in FORTRAN.

      Pretty sure numpy hooks into them. I don’t know anyone who uses computers for serious work that doesn’t use FORTRAN. It’s the best.

      • jxk@sh.itjust.works
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        Yep, and Matlab too I think

        • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          MATLAB is just scipy for people that wear ties.

  • lseif@sopuli.xyz
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    parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus

    • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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      Neither of them are very sharp

      • lseif@sopuli.xyz
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        10 months ago

        and we dont talk about their half cousin Objective

  • Presi300@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

    • Kache@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      That’s only because the former already implies much of the latter, so they don’t need to repeat it

  • 𞋴𝛂𝛋𝛆@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Tailor Swift

    Ash comes from a busybox… sh…

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