Hiya! Your friendly neighborhood corgi checking in on you again! Been a while since we’ve had one of these. Figured with the election and all, might as well, plus I don’t have any work yet today so fuck it, check on my friends!

For the new folks, welcome! I do these from time to time just to give people a space to vent and unwind, or tell us abotu anything exciting you’ve got going on.

For my own part, band stuff is coming along nicely! Did a gig with a friends band last Friday that went well, our second show with a 2nd guitarist. Writing and recording, new tracks should be out by the spring. Also posted a video of the show here a few days ago. Beyond that, work has been…eh. Still looking for a full time thing, its been 14 months now. AI training has me on a few new projects, but the work is coming in slow. Had to split rent into 2 payments this month and I was able to get the first sent out, but still worried about settling up the rest next week.

Beyond that, not much else going on. One year with no booze this month, so fuck yeah for that.

Hope you’re well, and remember you are loved stalin-heart

  • Stoneykins [any]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    Not great

    I mostly voted at all in order to avoid people I know looking me up and giving me shit for non voting, but voted 3rd party, basically camouflage.

    But now it has me forced to pretend to be recently upset in my work and family social circles. I have to fake shock and disbelief about trump winning, despite me feeling nothing but more of the same dread I’ve been feeling for a while and would have continued to feel regardless of the results.

    Silver lining I guess is at least I’m not so isolated in feeling like we are fucked now. Everyone suddenly agrees that we are totally fucked, even though their not realizing it until now is stupid.

  • Red_Eclipse [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    I tried explaining to my lib friends why it doesn’t matter who sits in the captain’s chair of the evil empire and they got mad at me and I have rejection sensitivity so it hurts a lot kitty-birthday-sad

      • Red_Eclipse [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        5 days ago

        It indeed is not as bad as it feels. I’m feeling better now but it hurt for like a whole day and I was ruminating about it lol. I hate rejection sensitivity so much. It wasn’t like we had an actual fight, I just said my piece and I got frustrated feeling like I was being ignored by the group whenever I tried to explain stuff like that. To which I got: “Well, respectfully, I think you’re wrong, and being kind of rude about it too” which hit me like a truck and made me cry. A lot.

        This is why I don’t post kitty-cri-screm

        Also, this is my main friend group so we’re talking every day and I said sorry (even though I was right!!!) and now we’re back to memes and jokes again.

  • omenmis [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    a sister of mine died recently and a lot of my sisters r one foot in the grave. i feel like i cant really help them either. im scared im going to need to go on DIY E soon and im scared of needles. its feels so bleak out here, maybe im just a weak little lib tho.

  • sewer_rat_420 [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    I just went to trader joes, my first venture into the public since the orange fascist won. I just felt incredibly sad, in my head about how all of our lives are going to get worse and we will continue to go through collectice trauma. Not that dems would have stopped it of course, but now there is a finality to how shitty things are going to become very soon. I honestly felt like crying as i was checking out…its very odd and i didnt expect to feel such emotion but its been a heavy 48 hours

    • urmums401k [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 days ago

      We all knew electoralism wouldnt save us.

      We all knew the fascists were here.

      Now is the time to organize. Well, years ago really, but, now is better than later.

      Nothing really changed; the stakes just went up, and a few more masks came off. You still need to organize.

      Pass out sandwiches and make the world better. Be the fucking vanguard and set an example. Or do some illegal surrealist street theater/performative crime to nurture the imagination.

      Now is the time to act. It will be easier. I promise you can do this. You just need to start, even if you feel silly at first. Use this fracture in normalcy to act.

  • Lerios [hy/hym]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    politically i feel fucking high, like, this is the type of week that reminds me why i follow politics (in a jokerfied way). i’m not inside the great satan so really this only affects me through watching libs become disillusioned on the internet. the despair in me says that somehow none of these will stick and nobody’s getting radicalized, but the meltdown is fun at least. plus, usamerican will be be more likely to give a shit about the world for a few years and trump’s admin might get us closer to peace in ukraine (which is a lot more relevant to my area lol)

    but on the personal side of things, i continue to be fucking useless. this job won’t hold out for another year and i’m desperately trying to apply to PhDs to actually do some good in the world, but my god i’m awful without a clear, set deadline, which these don’t have. i’ve always done everything the night before it was due and now i’m looking at blank pages and just… not filling them. for night after night i do NOTHING. i don’t even play video games or sew or do the things i actually enjoy, i just have to sit around despairing that i’m not doing what i need to and want to. people have been telling me to get adhd tested for a literal decade, and this is the first time i kind of regret not listening (a guy at work says he knows someone who could sell me some adderal, but thats Very Illegal here and also idk…). personally i don’t think i’m adhd, i’m pretty sure i’m just a lazy bastard who’s never had to try academically, but still, any advantage might be nice 🙃

    plus, i’ve now learnt that doing anything (like getting into a phd) when you have a dayjob SUCKS. my job is a scam tbh but even so, my noctural ass is having mad trouble staying up past midnight, and turning to energy drinks to fix it seems like its me immune to energy drinks. it just feel like theres infinitely less time in the day kitty-birthday-sad

    thanks for giving us somewhere to say this sort of shit and reminding us to take a minute to contemplate, comrade corgi Care-Comrade doggo-matapacos

  • Aradina [She/They]@lemmy.ml
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    5 days ago

    Flu induced fatigue hasn’t gone away. Might just be one of those fun fibromyalgia moments of a new symptom to get used to.

    A good 12 hours sleep last night and I feel like I pulled an all nighter.

    Tram museum trip tomorrow though so that’s fun

  • DragonBallZinn [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    Call me a liberal, and I’m hoping to have liberalism snapped out of me, but I am certainly disappointed about the election results.

    Mostly for revolutionary reasons because there is no way in hell a generation of “Yeah, I’m fash because it owns the libs” is are not going to be a bunch of lost causes. It’s also a reminder of some personal griefs, that I am very unlikely to make friends with other men because I am that distant from what they want. I feel like an outlier among Gen Z, a generation of trolls.

    Yeah, kind of liberal cringiness but I need to get that off my chest, if there’s any way I can be reminded that this is full of shit I’d love to hear it.

    • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.netOPM
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      5 days ago

      I wouldn’t call that liberalism, comrade Care-Comrade

      I’m older, so can’t speak from a GenZ perspective, but you’ll find your people. That does require going out and looking, but hell - I’ve met a decent number of Hexbears IRL and am doing food distro with one this weekend. People like you are out there!

    • MrPiss [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      5 days ago

      I went in without hope for the election and I am actually upset that the Republicans look like they’ll hold all three branches of government fully. That’s not something I had considered since I’m used to some kind of division inside congress. They can do real freak shit with the whole of the Federal government if they can all get in line. Moderately big if since there are factional divides in the party but still there are valid things to be worried about if in the grand scheme of things the empire will continue on unimpeded.

      Anyway, the material conditions drive the world and they will mold and influence you as well. It’s important to build and structure your life in a way that can support your how you want to grow. Basically try to join an organization even if it’s a glorified book club and you might meet good people and restore some of your faith in humanity and also deprogram your liberalism.

  • Shaleesh [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 days ago

    Late to the party with this thread but whatever.

    A wide range of emotions this week but I think I’m back to feeling normal, if not motivated. The night of the election there were a lot of trans people who look up to me coming to me for consolation I couldn’t give and questions I couldn’t answer. I recognize that there wasn’t really much I could have done to prevent this outcome but I still feel like I stood there and did nothing. I’m trying to network and see what kind of IRL organizing and activism I can do. I will say that the dissilusionment I have seen in my lib friends has been very good and I have been having conversations to nudge them towards more radical left thought.

    Beyond that my experiment with vegetarianism has reignited my love of cooking all over again, the weather has been really nice, and I’m in this era of my life where I have never felt so very myself.

    I hope you all have a beautiful day, be well <3

  • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    I’m pretty sure dysphoria is causing depression for me. It’s hell and I don’t know how to get out. It feels hopeless.

    Broke my clean streak yesterday too.

    Also I’ve just been throughly angry recently. Pissed off about everything. Bitter.

  • principalkohoutek [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    Congrats on your booze sobriety! I’m about to take a month off from drinking. I did it last year and really liked the change of pace, so I’ll be doing it again from after Thanksgiving to Christmas.

    Speaking of abstention, I’m on my first thc break after four years of daily usage (a day off here and there). The first few days were unpleasant (headaches, irritable, loss of appetite, bad sleep), but that is subsiding. I’m enjoying the clarity. I can speak more succinctly and clearly. I’m less impulsive and have more patience. I guess the biggest surprise is I don’t miss it at much as I thought I would now that I’m a week off. I missed it a lot the first few days.

    Otherwise, I’ve been struggling to get back into a workout routine (MWF) but haven’t given up entirely.

  • hellomao [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    Bad… Can barely focus on anything or identify how am feeling.

    spoiler

    I don’t like needles but I feel like I have to start DIY testosterone soon so I’m in this place of wanting to start the T but also kind of not because of needles.

  • SpiderFarmer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    Sleeping well and getting back into running. Trying to ignore a lot of leftist posts to get involved in stuff. I am involved, just trying to lay low for a week and recover. Oh, and the album I contributed to was officially released on Bandcamp last week. Been riding that high.

    • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.netOPM
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      5 days ago

      Hell yeah sounds sick! How’s the album reception been? What did you play on it? If you wanna swap band links, hit me up! Or just go through my post history, I posted video of our most recent live set there.

      • SpiderFarmer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        5 days ago

        I’m flattered. I’ll send a link your way. I just strummed my banjo and sang. It’s not picking up steam yet, but we’re kinda waiting till it clears on streaming sites to start advertising ourselves. This is my first actual contribution to an album. Before that I just sat in jam circles or did some FAWM stuff.

  • glimmer_twin [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    It’s Friday and I’ve had a Monday to Friday for a few months now 🎉 will try to get drunk but not drunk enough to get in the dawg house with my partner after work (congrats on being sober op)

    • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.netOPM
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      5 days ago

      Hell yeah enjoy! Have a drink for me!

      Idk that I’d use the word sober, but I at least haven’t touched alcohol in a year. California sober, as the kids call it. But thanks! Appreciate the kind words!