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Translation: we hired incompetent insecure assholes into management positions and can’t get rid of them for some reason, can you tolerate their bullshit and manage their egos
Give it your 110% and we’ll demand 120%!
And don’t think that 120% will grant you a raise either! Inflation will eat 5% of your paycheck each year!
You’re lucky if it’s only 5% in this economy!
“Do you want to be an infinitely productive profit maker for the company at your own expense?”
Yeah like srsly? Do you want to pay me a king’s ransom?
not remotely
“Oh good because we don’t allow work-from-home. Can’t miss out on that in-person SYNERGY.”
“I can make a hundred trillion calculation per second and they’re all wrong”
Well if that’s the bar I can do 150 trillion wrong calculations!
Beaten by math! My only weakness!!
I see the same job market terminology hasn’t changed generationally.
Tell me, are 21 year olds still meeting the challenge to “thrive under pressure” for $10 an hour more than their fast food friends?
No, now it’s only $3.50 a hour more than a fast food job with unpaid overtime.
Pay off their
tertiary educationTP in no time, then
“We’re a family company”
=> some of the worst backstabbing I’ve ever seen. Glad to have left that behind.
We’re just like a family.
Any time there’s an emergency, day or night, you’re supposed immediately to drop everything to take care of us and demand nothing in return.
And of course, we’re not going to pay any of that overtime!
We’re a family! Complete with the narcissistic micromanaging lunatics, Favoritism and nepotism, and miserable people willing to throw you under the bus for a chance to be rewarded!
Same here! “We’re a family”. It was an abusive relationship where the CEO was the narcissistic abuser. God he treated everyone like crap in that place.
Let’s work towards not working at all! Crazy as it sounds.
I have a plan, it’s stupid good!
Do you want to pay me like i’m in a fast paced break everything environment where i’m going have to put up with a lot of shit?
Oh GOD no
Just sayin, i don’t love break-neck pace, but I do love living comfortably during inflation…
It’s funny when you see job postings for where you work. I saw one for where I’m at (a ghost job, since there’s a hiring freeze) that said like “join a highly functional team”. Lady, this team can barely push code that doesn’t have syntax errors.
Side note: posting jobs with no intention to hire (aka a ghost job) should be illegal.
Recently saw the place I left a year ago put up a posting. It was word-for-word the same as the job I applied for 4 years previously but it had an extra sentence: MUST HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR.
This is code for: MUST BE OKAY WITH THE OWNER’S RAMPANT HOMO AND TRANS PHOBIA.
I had a recruiter call me up and ask me how I hadn’t found a job with all these postings. Like, lady, they’re not real!
Come work in our suicide factory!
nO 1 wAnTs 2 wOrK nE mOaR!!!1!11!1
Are you DESPERATE ENOUGH to WORK HERE!?
WE’RE A FAMILY. Now go to your cubicle without enough pay to afford dinner.
That does sound like my family, actually.
Ask them to feed you since they’re family.
Wtf you’re not a team player.
/s
Are we a team or a family?, get it straight! Also, teams do feed their players after matches afaik.
No, not that kind of team.
-“We’re team Teamspeak!”
Pizza party is next thursday, if the team meets the goals
One slice per employee.
Very unfamilylike
But they want to hire the idiots who do.
Job postings should not make the job sound overly appealing. They should give you an idea of if it would be a good fit for you as a potential applicant.
How else will the HR attract applicants?
