Blobby and Friends
I have never felt more connected to a comic, ever.
This is a great article on this topic
https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/when-the-missing-reasons-arent-missing/
Happy cake day.
The article just before that about the “missing missing reasons” hits just as hard. That whole site makes for an informative read for someone frustrated with dealing with their parents as an adult.
For anyone confused and making “parenting is hard and parents do their best” apologetics in the comments, this comic portrays long term, systematic child abuse and survivors recognize it immediately. If a parent’s “best” involves abuse of any kind, it simply isn’t good enough, and no victim owes their abuser a single thing.
For any fellow survivors, I see you and it’s not your fault. They made choices when they raised you in a climate of terror, abuse, blame, and cruelty, you had no choice. Leave them to the natural consequences of their choices, your one wild life if your own, don’t let them take any more of it than they already have.
When I said, I came up as atheist it was much intense version of this interaction atleast though they were understanding after my resilience 😅
I love my parents but my relationship with them is complicated. This hits hard
That’s my monster boomer mother. Also include “while you live under MY roof… blah-blah”. I spent my early childhood not feeling like I had a home. I was just visiting her house. Nothing was mine. She of course forgets my father paid for that house and she got it for free in the divorce.
She’d also say to me “the world doesn’t owe you a living.” She only had a high school degree and a year as a “kelly girl”. That turned into a secretary job at a community college, which later turned into a better secretary job at a huge aerospace company. After a few years that paid more than enough to live and she got stocks and a pension out of the deal. Her aunt died and left her a fortune (none for me). She’s one of those boomers that did the bare minimum in life, sits on a pile of free cash, free house, retired early, and complains about people on welfare or “damn government handouts”. Meanwhile she has never contributed anything of value to society, never volunteers, never donates to charity. She’s a fucking leach.
Oh yeah. When parents got divorced, she got primary custody of me. She was so insane, I ended up moving to my fathers house when I was 10. My father continued to pay her child support to stop her from filing a complaint with the court about me living with him (He was chill and figured it was the easy way to deal with her). So add that to the list of free money to her.
Anyway, now she’s old, fat, stupid, with no friends and will die alone. I actually expect her to die in the house alone and they’ll find her weeks later after her cat has chewed out chunks of her. LOL. Good kitty.
This makes me feel bad for the cat.
That’s cheery.
Let’s hope you raise your own children the way you wish you had been raised.
That’s what I’m doing. The pain of my childhood will not be passed on as more generational trauma.
I had a similar childhood, and had minimal contact in the last 10-15 years of her life. My mom ended up homeless and would have died on the street if her brother wasn’t willing to take her in. It was my fault she ended up homeless, because I moved out and stopped being the parent in the relationship.
I never want my child to feel about me the way my mother made me feel about her, and I’m doing the hard work to make myself a better person and parent than what I was taught to be.
It sucks because it’s like sitting there holding up a leaning pile of bricks, and you know as soon as you move it’s falling, but you only have 1 life and you deserve to spend it doing more than fixing other people’s mistakes.
Removed by mod
How did you interview my mother to make this comic?
My parents gave as much as they could. I never thought it was enough when I was a kid. Now that I’m in my forties, I know just how much that was.
I come from work tired as fuck and I know my old man was the same way, but he still found time to take me to the playground and then taught me math and English every night. My mom did the exact same but there was always a lunch and a dinner cooked for my ungrateful ass.
Through it all, they always loved me and said they were proud of me.
Its good to know that there are still some doing it right (my sister and bil are the same. I’m a cool aunt, thank you very much)
Well I hate you with a bitter jealousy and so very many of the empty places in my heart. Whoever you are.
“From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee…”
genesis intensifies
Okay so my search wasn’t working, but here’s the full portion:
I turn my body from the sun. What ho, Tashtego! Let me hear thy hammer. Oh! ye three unsurrendered spires of mine; thou uncracked keel; and only god-bullied hull; thou firm deck, and Pole-pointed prow,—death-glorious ship! must he then perish, and without me? Am I cut off from the last fond pride of meanest shipwrecked captains? Oh, lonely death on lonely life! Oh, now I feel my topmost greatness lies in my topmost grief. Ho, ho! from all your furthest bounds, pour ye now in, ye bold billows of my whole foregone life, and top this one piled comber of my death! Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hellcs heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! And since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!
There’s a lot of archaic language and nautical terminology there, but its much more about grief and abandon and madness, it shows a weakness, a frenzied hopeless death drive as much or more than the determination and strength implied by the shorter quote the space-nazi shouts.
The entire rest of that section goes so much harder and is so much gayer.
I guess we can make ourselves feel good about just about anything.
That’s pretty much every narcissist’s view of having kids. That you owe them something for just making you exist.
Exactly, parents owe the children they bring into this world a safe and happy childhood, the child owes the parent nothing…nothing.
I think my 45 year old brother has stokholm syndrome and still lives like this
Cut toxic people out of your life. No matter who it is. Period.
Simple best rule for a happier life.
OK but what if you’re 6 and the toxic people are your parents?
Go into the world, learn a trade and make a man out of yourself. There’s no rule that says a steel worker, a deep sea welder or an HVAC repairman can’t be six. /s
Don’t let being six years old stop you from pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.
Hell, get a gym membership, work on your body and get on the dating apps. Be serious and straightforward with the women you meet. Show them the kindness and empathy your toxic parents didn’t show you. Maybe you’ll meet the right woman and together you can build a future. There’s no rule that says a six year old can’t start a family
When I was 6 I was already 7
Boo
Get over it! You can talk, you can walk, you can eat and shit. It’s time to make a dime! /s
Then you also haven’t read this and just have to survive it. I know that kids see those things as “normal”, even the worst kinds of abuse. As they usually lack diversified knowledge of alternatives or came to conclusion how they want to be treated.
For those my advice is worth less than nothing. It was more aimed at people who can read and COULD do that. I know many can’t or don’t dare to. Or not without help.
It’s part of what I voluntarily work in. A shelter-kind of people damaged or broken by other disgusting examples of this species. It’s the best one could do. Cut ties, start new. Or just cut ties.
Even if its parents. Or especially if they are the toxic ones. If you’re 6, others should take you out of there.
You can’t play football, it’s too dangerous!
You can’t take a martial arts class, it’s dangerous and too expensive!
You can’t get a drum kit, it’s too loud and too expensive!
You can’t have guitar lessons, it’s too expensive and too loud!
Never leave this neighborhood it’s too dangerous!
15 years later
Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!
Boomers and Gen X were heavily conditioned by the wave of crimes and news of serial killers. So it’s understandable why they have been overprotective.
seriously my mom would tell us about all the rapes happening on the daily. wasn’t till I could comprehend basic statistics did I realize how many screws she had loose.
You can’t play football, it’s too dangerous!
Okay, but totally unironically, though. Full contact sports are terrible for kids.
Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!
I might suggest that the biggest reason I sit inside all day is that it’s fucking 95° with 60% humidity. But also, screens are hypnotizing, especially for little kids. My son would absolutely lock in on Ms Racheal or Bluey for hours a day if I let him. But he also loves to kick his soccer ball and dunk his basketball in his little stand when the TV isn’t on. And I’m fine with that, because he’s not plowing face first into a kid twice his size. Or trying to back kick one of his friends across the room.
Also, I’ve never needed to buy my son a drum kit because everything is a drum kit to that kid. We can talk about a kit when he gets to middle school and shows he’s got the desire to practice, maintain the equipment, and not break anything when he loses his temper.
Full contact sports should be adapted to children to have no full contact. If it’s not the case, the teachers are morons, dangerous and probably criminals, and you should obviously not leave your kids there.
In fact, regarding full contact combat sports, even for adults training does not involve full contact to the head in most cases, only competitions and examinations may. There’s a lot of choice of schools and rulesets, so adults can choose whatever level of contact they are comfortable with.While full contact sports (and the associated CTE) are dangerous, there’s alternative combat sports that avoid it, like wrestling, judo, and jiu jitsu. Mainly grappling.
That being said, competitive olympic wresting is pretty toxic regarding weight and diet. Lots of extreme dieting to get in the wanted weight range for tournaments, whivh is terrible for teenagers. Plus, jiu jitsu is the dude-bro sport right now, so might want to avoid that too.
Mainly what I’m getting at is that judo is good if you think your kid might be into it
Oh no! My child might get hurt playing a game! Little Jhonnythan is far too valuable to be put in harms way no matter how much he’ll develop emotionally and intelligently by playing <Insert Sport Here>. I’m an amazing parent!
Football specifically is bad. Especially with helmets.
How is that more specifically bad vs any other sport with contact built into it, like baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer, lacrosse, rugby… Even more individual sports have incidents like curling and tennis.
Maybe your soft child might be good at golf? But they could strain leg muscles, pull a hip, should injuries are common among golfers…
My child might get hurt playing a game!
It’s not a game when the goal is to injure the other players. It’s functionally a combat sport.
I’ve played sports my whole life. Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Your ignorance is showing. I’ve accidentally hurt others, and others have unintentionally hurt me. Shit happens. I’ve torn a muscle in my shoulder from a bad hit in hockey. I’ve also severely sprained my ankle walking to my driveway. If you want to bubble wrap your kids and protect them from all the harm in the world, enjoy raising a completely incompetent leech on society that is dependant on you their whole life.
I’ve played sports my whole life. Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Boxing. MMA. In both of those,
concussingknocking out your opponent is a winThose aren’t team sports.
American reading comprehension is really at a historic low isn’t it.
At no point in your previous comment did you say the word “team”.
You really put your foot in your mouth with that one.
Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Not sure if genuinely ignorant or just contrarian maxxing
I could ask the same thing.
Which team sport is designed around intentionally injuring the other players?
I think the Raised By Narcissists group needs more activity. This was my childhood fer shurr.
I’m in this comic and I don’t like it.
This hits close to home. I don’t talk to my mother anymore.
