Three guys wearing a red shirt
three clones of tom scott, who say “we are standing in an elevator going to the 5th floor” in perfect unison as you enter
My two older brothers and my dad
Honestly if I was a woman any dude in life. Maybe even those goth dudes on black horses. Def the trees tho. They Hott af
Figures that the safest men to be stuck with aren’t human men.
Aragorn?
He’s 87 years old at the start of LOTR.
He descends from Elros the Half-Elf.He’s got Elven heritage. He’s the 64th descendant of Elros, brother of Elrond. I think he’s also decendend from a Maiar as Elros and Elrond’s great great grandmother was Melian.
I tried to come up with a counter argument and realized pretty quickly that I didn’t want to.
What’s the counter-argument ? Let’s hear it
I mean, they’re objectively correct.
Not if yer a fucken orc!
I’d choose: Boromir, Ned Stark, and Sean Bean.
No way anything bad can happen to me with those magnets around.
I dunno. Might take Sharpe instead of Ned Stark, good to have someone that knows how to use a rifle
The whole elevator would just crash through the foundation. You’d be collateral when Death gets a 3 for 1 final destination style.
Nah, I think it’d go more like this:
- Get it in the elevator and see them all in there.
- Go to press the button for your floor (the top floor) and see that it’s already pressed.
- Have a pleasant trip up.
- Arrive at your floor and the doors open.
- All three politely allow you to exit first.
- Step out of the lift safely.
- Elevator malfunctions, plummets and crashes through the foundation.
- Walk off thinking how nice they all were.
Is the elevator spacious?
Ok I recognise Andre and Arnold, who’s the dude on the left?
I can’t believe how jacked Arnold is here. It’s truly remarkable.
Arnold’s got a decent number of allegations against him, but Andre would protect you so I guess it’s honestly a freebie for the other two if he’s in the mix.
Everywhere they went people were getting kidnapped, orcs were invading, trees were coming to life, and the dead were rising. Id want to be far away from that elevator.
Yeah that’s as safe as being a marine hanging with the master chief.
You take that back, I protect my marines while playing!
You know… As much as possible while charging headfirst into the most powerful empire the galaxy has seen in 100,000 years hell bent on destroying humanity and all we represent…
Let’s not talk about Truth and Reconciliation lol
Look bro, I just handed you an entire SPNKR rocket launcher and a Scorpion jump seat, whatever you do with those afterward is no longer my concern. I’m busy driving.
You know for a fact that they’ll literally coming charging across the countryside to rescue you though
Not much countryside for the charging in most elevators, though 🤔
They probably wouldn’t be that familiar with the workings of a lift either
Only one of them.
But Legolas could poke out the ceiling panel with the tip of his bow and Aragorn could boost Gimli up with a rope.
Somewhat related: that’s a dream blunt rotation right there
I feel like Gimli would hog it, Aragorn would obviously be awesome, and Legolas would be chill but you could tell he’s thinking your weed sucks, he’s got a much better connection.
i like to imagine that weed is the opposite of beer when it comes to elves and dwarves, elves barely even notice while dwarves start giggling when standing next to someone puffing a blunt
Gimli, it’s a blunt, not a microphone
So ackshually…
Aragorn was descended from Elros who was a half-elf, but that was so long ago he may or may not be a full man depending on how racist one is about miscegenation.
Legolas was an elf and Gimli was a dwarf, so explicitly not Men.
How about Eomer and Faramir instead?
Elros and Elrond had a choice as to become Eldar or Edain. Elrond chose Eldar, while Elros chose Edain. Once they chose their mixed nature was resolved.
Not exactly, since the Númenóreans still had longer lives than Men due to their elven heritage. So while one could absolutely make the argument they were Men, there’s also a case to be made saying they weren’t pureblooded Men.
one drop
Boromir would’ve made them feel safer.
Faramir didn’t try to take the Ring from Frodo, unlike Boromir.
Boromir literally picked the ring up and handed it back to Frodo. He was tested and passed.
The Fellowship broke apart because Boromir tried to take the Ring from Frodo at Amon Hen and Frodo used it to disappear and run from him.
Men as in males, yes.
Men as in humans, mostly no
Let’s be real. We’re all NPCs so if any of the men are from something with action, we’ll probably end up dead. My pick would be Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, and Steve Irwin. Super calming and chill
Steve was an amazing person but I wouldn’t describe him as chill.
He was pure overwhelming enthusiastic energy.
Fair point. Well, he’ll balance out the other two then. It’ll be like drugs (I assume), two downers and one upper
I never imagined I’d ever see someone compare Mr. Rogers to drugs, but here we are.
“Speed into one nostril, coke into the other”-energy
I’d also go for Data, Riker, and LaForge.
Now roll for shirt color.
Alright.
1d4, and this is the order; 1 = red, 2 = yellow, 3 = blue, 4 = green.
And I got 3, so that’s blue! :D
You need O’Brien to act as a lightning rod for any misfortune.
Please… No more…
I didn’t realize there was a Miles O’Brien floating around on Lemmy!
We’re friends now. Just accept it.
Ehhh debatable if Data is a “man”, and LaForge… well, he wouldn’t be on my list. My picks from TNG to share a turbolift would would be Picard, O’Brien and Riker. Picard would be either ruminating on some deep crisis or current drama and be quiet and majestic. O’Brien would be preoccupied and anxious about some project and trying to build up the courage to talk to the senior officers about it. Riker would be relaxed, polite and crack a joke that would make you chuckle.
If counting non-human male characters across ST, then Data, Odo and Spock.
Pretty sure Data’s status was solidified in Measure of a Man. I was also keeping it era and crew consistent, so no cross-era or cross-crew groups. The reason being that it is in keeping with the meme above.
As for why I chose Data, Riker, and LaForge; for their technical problem solving skills. And that they work really well together solving technical problems. I don’t need anyone to be majestic or fret about some project. I need them to fix the elevator. XD
non-zero chance Riker tries to flirt with you
Sure but he would handle rejection well and laugh it off. Riker, afaicr, respected signals and consent. He flirted with people who seemed open to it and was perfectly professional to those who weren’t. What makes flirting feel unsafe is the threat of men taking it badly if rejected.
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I mean… No Worf? I feel like he’d be the safest choice together with Data
Eh, he can have a temper, I know it doesn’t necessarily come up day to day but when he’s pissed he doesn’t always contain his anger. He’s safer than a lot of people but no he doesn’t make my top three. My runner up for top three male non-humans was actually Garak.
Can’t recall him hurting anyone out of anger.
Plus zen-Worf is about the only good thing that came out of PIC. Love the look as well.
He’s a cutie! What temper?
Cheery Littlebottom?
I’ll choose chaos. Picard, Riker, and Q.
I feel like you’d have more chaos with Picard, Martok, and Q
Mariner, Martok, and Q
Oopsie poopsie, you got Lore!
Also the other Riker…
I’ll take Thomas Riker any day over Ensign Picard.
And Geordi has gotten fixated on your engineering skills…
Thomas Riker was alright, it’s not like he’s from the mirror universe
LaForge is occasionally kinda creepy…
Only if there’s a particularly attractive hologram nearby. Not a problem when stuck in an elevator.
Luke, Han, and R2D2.
Eh, I’d say R2-D2 doesn’t count as a “man” at all, being neither human nor clearly gendered in any way.
I don’t know about feeling “safe” with Han, but unsafe in a good way. Like I trust him but not myself. Artoo could probably plug in and fix the elevator, too.
Not Obi-wan?
What about that boy, what was his name? Anie i think. He seems innocent enough.
I’m old school. He didn’t make it out of the first movie.
If I grew up with prequels, then yeah. Chewie as well if I could fit a fourth.
On one hand, he’s the negociator. On the other hand he’s the hand and legs taker. (Whether or not you want him in the elevator, depends on the hand he chooses to take.)
That’s a good combo too.
Riker?
He’s charismatic and playfully flirty but receptive to signals and a good communicator. He wouldn’t do anything untoward without consent.
Sure, but you’d still come out of the elevator pregnant.
But that would happen completely consensual.
Yeah, but it might be inconvenient if you weren’t planning to become pregnant. Your husband or wife might be upset too.
I hardly even know ‘er!
The fact that they had to go to fictional characters is significant.
The people you know well enough to trust them are close to you but unknown to others, so other people wouldn’t really appreciate your unswer if it was just some common unknown people. You mostly cannot bet on the character of celebrities, because you don’t know them personally (see Gaiman). Fictional characters are known by many people and their personalities are nicely described in the books, movies, whatever…
it really isn’t, people comfortably stand in elevators with men all the time lol
We’re in the LOTR community, the sample may be a little biased
Yes, but the person who responded to the question wasn’t in a LOTR community.
All the other people who answered weren’t posted here
I know, I’m just referring to this particular person’s response.
Good point!
Okay, real world examples from me (notably, a big dude, so y’know, probably not as in tune to things as I could be):
Bernie Sanders My brother My Uncle
… I… Really thought I’d have better options until I really started thinking about it
Yeah. Same issue here. So how about:
Bob Ross. Carl Sagan. Steve Irwin.
I’d swap Steve for Bernie.
Not because I think Steve would hurt anyone directly. But at any moment he may be like “would you like to see this deadly spider I’ve got in m’pocket?” And then pull out a spider that even spider scientists didn’t know existed or some shit. He would never let the spider hurt you, but you’d have a heart attack anyway.
I think he’d respect the spider enough not to keep it in a pocket. Though Bernie seems popular in the comments too.
Christopher Reeves, Stephen Hawking, Teddy Pendergrass
Mr Rogers, Bob Ross, Steve Irwin
i mean, i guess i’d feel safe, but probably not super comfortable, given that they are all three very dead.
If they’re dead and in the elevator, are they still in wheelchairs?
Idk about Stephen Hawking
